Ya I've taken apart many laptops completely and reassembled and this little tiny connector is tough. Maybe you didn't press down on the lock release? It's a very small piece on the plug itself that you must depress, then you pull it out and up. It's more than the bendy tabs that hold this plug in! Sounds like you got it working, ultimately.I didn't have such luck with my install. For the life of me I couldn't get the BLIS plugs undone. I bent the 2 red circled things out and lifted up, and everything but nothing was going to give. Eventually the wires came loose and pulled out of the plug. At that point I was pretty frustrated with the install. I finally decided to cut the ends off of the wires on the bronco and the new mirrors and use a telephone splice that's waterproof to connect the wires together. All in all I am happy with the results, but hated the pathway to get it done.
Also let me say I am experienced with wiring and modifications on vehicles and electronics. I'm not a novice by any means!
I still would recommend the mirrors, but beware if you have the BLIS system and trying to wire that up.
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