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Share your favorite business jargon

Mattwings

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I worked for a company that would not allow anyone to say “problem” or “challenge” . Everything was an opportunity. So a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis was an SOOO (strengths, opportunities, opportunities, opportunities) analysis.
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broncoSJ

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“We need to stand up this new program”
”new normal”
And saying “right” at the end of every sentence. WHEN DID THAT BECOME THE NORM???!!
 

ColoradoGuy

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"we need to be dynamic"

"it's all about the optics"
 

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pan-y-cerveza

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I've worked in construction so I definitely get less of these useless meetings full of buzzwords but I do remember being in a meeting with an argumentative (and not very good) foreman didn't want to listen to anyone's ideas. When everyone conceded because he wasn't budging and it wasnt worth the fight he said "Good. Now we're on the same page. My page."

I've been laughing about it for the last 10 years. I still use it jokingly at least once a month.
 

Ricepuddin

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He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel!
I once told a fellow Platoon sergeant that he had the situational awareness of Helen Keller. Though I don't think that counts
 

Rick Astley

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The old standby "even a broken clock is right twice a day"
Hey, that's a FACT! The '51s clock has never led me wrong at 8:15 before. And I mean AM or PM!

The ultimate motto of customer service is: "We're not happy unless you're not happy"

Ford Bronco Share your favorite business jargon turn signal and shift knob
 
OP
OP
Ft. Worth Rob

Ft. Worth Rob

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He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel!
That’s funny. Here’s another colloquialism I love. “He/she throws around nickels like they’re manhole covers.”
 

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Superthornbird

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I work for a railroad,

"Do not hump" do not let car free roll down a hill into other cars

"Go to beans" meal brake

"Kick" let car roll free under its own momentum

"Make air" connect air hoses and open angle cock to air up air brakes on equipment

"Good dump" a passed test of eot emergency function.
 

Skmarshall

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Weird Al had a song for this:
 

wvmtneer

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“We are in compliance with CDC guidelines.”
 

kodiakisland

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Most of the time at work I'm either thinking or saying WTF.
Does that count?
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