- First Name
- Greg
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2021
- Threads
- 18
- Messages
- 170
- Reaction score
- 318
- Location
- Winchester, Virginia
- Vehicle(s)
- Harley Davidson FLTRUSE
- Your Bronco Model
- Badlands
- Thread starter
- #1
The rules for Bronco production according to the "5 Year Plan" have been made available by the Supreme Soviet. Comrade Citizens are encouraged to read and abide by these rules to ensure that orders are handled to Marxist rules, whereby price will be set for each according to his or her means, and allocation made to each according to his or her needs.
1 - Superior Utility Vehicles (SUVs) shall be made in large volumes to compete with the longstanding Capitalist Bourgeois enemy, the Jeep. The SUVs shall be superior in every way, with the exception of actual availability to Citizens.
2 - Production plans shall be sufficiently large to meet the needs of all Citizens. Citizens comrades may signify interest with the commitment of money deposits to the Soviet.
3 - Production plans will be sufficiently large as to please the stock holding Politburo, however these shall remain secret in detail from both leadership and Citizens.
4 - Citizens will be presented with a large variety of factory colors and options, as well as third party options. Some of these options may or may not be available as presented, noting Citizens will take what is actually produced. Interior colors shall clash with the exterior. Roof racks may not carry useful items. Tops shall be made of lightweight canvas in high volumes, gray plastic in poor quality, and colored materials in the very near socialist future for those that are patient. Cameras shall be blocked by winches. All suspension differences, tire fitment allowances, and clearances shall remain a state secret.
5 - Vehicles will be produced in the order reserved by Citizens, supplemented by small modifications according to a mathematical formula poorly understood by our best scientists, as many have defected to other suppliers.
6 - No delivery preference to party members shall be provided. In the event a party member receives his SUV before you, it is a coincidence or perhaps a fabricated lie created by Capitalist counter-revolutionaries at Jeep. There are no preferences. There is no VIP list. You may join the non existent list by paying a huge markup for those vehicles dealers offered on the black market.
7 - Citizens configured their Bronco's in September 2020, and ordered them in January 2021. By this we meant December 2020, and February 2021, unless desirable options were included. If desirable options were included (such as 2.7L engines, tops, and towing capabilities, your order may be discarded.) Going forward, all dates shall be interpreted as "promise date plus one year".
8 - Saboteurs have reported material shortages that may impact delivery. These are lies. Your Bronco may be in your driveway now. In the event is is not there, you have certainly opted for a currently unbuildable configuration to be delivered in 2024.
9 - If you have questions, please contact your dealer for an official explanation, as your dealer has access to all materials provided by the ministry of disinformation and interpretation.
10 - To ensure the continuance of state security, the dealer information is false and incomplete. The five year plan changes monthly.
11 - To celebrate the month of July, some of you have been getting the May build notices promised by the plan. This does not however mean that we will build your Bronco. We may build some of it, and put in a parking lot at MAP with chalked numbers on the window signifying your social status. In the coming year, others may or may not get the May build notices, however this will be sent to all citizens by May 2023. No citizens, however are guaranteed an actual Bronco at any time.
12 - We are sorry for the inconvenience, however your patience is important as we battle the bourgeois forces of Capitalist greed and the saboteurs at Webasto and in our chip factories in Taiwan. To mitigate these issues, we are offering rides in Bronco Sports and used used Ford Flexes. The latter are really the same as four door Outer Banks models anyway. A Ford Pass credit for a large bag of potatoes is also yours.
13 - You may have seen Politburo members driving Broncos in Texas at the Rodeo. We are confident that you will support their passion for the state while you wait.....and wait...and wait. Would you like some vodka?
1 - Superior Utility Vehicles (SUVs) shall be made in large volumes to compete with the longstanding Capitalist Bourgeois enemy, the Jeep. The SUVs shall be superior in every way, with the exception of actual availability to Citizens.
2 - Production plans shall be sufficiently large to meet the needs of all Citizens. Citizens comrades may signify interest with the commitment of money deposits to the Soviet.
3 - Production plans will be sufficiently large as to please the stock holding Politburo, however these shall remain secret in detail from both leadership and Citizens.
4 - Citizens will be presented with a large variety of factory colors and options, as well as third party options. Some of these options may or may not be available as presented, noting Citizens will take what is actually produced. Interior colors shall clash with the exterior. Roof racks may not carry useful items. Tops shall be made of lightweight canvas in high volumes, gray plastic in poor quality, and colored materials in the very near socialist future for those that are patient. Cameras shall be blocked by winches. All suspension differences, tire fitment allowances, and clearances shall remain a state secret.
5 - Vehicles will be produced in the order reserved by Citizens, supplemented by small modifications according to a mathematical formula poorly understood by our best scientists, as many have defected to other suppliers.
6 - No delivery preference to party members shall be provided. In the event a party member receives his SUV before you, it is a coincidence or perhaps a fabricated lie created by Capitalist counter-revolutionaries at Jeep. There are no preferences. There is no VIP list. You may join the non existent list by paying a huge markup for those vehicles dealers offered on the black market.
7 - Citizens configured their Bronco's in September 2020, and ordered them in January 2021. By this we meant December 2020, and February 2021, unless desirable options were included. If desirable options were included (such as 2.7L engines, tops, and towing capabilities, your order may be discarded.) Going forward, all dates shall be interpreted as "promise date plus one year".
8 - Saboteurs have reported material shortages that may impact delivery. These are lies. Your Bronco may be in your driveway now. In the event is is not there, you have certainly opted for a currently unbuildable configuration to be delivered in 2024.
9 - If you have questions, please contact your dealer for an official explanation, as your dealer has access to all materials provided by the ministry of disinformation and interpretation.
10 - To ensure the continuance of state security, the dealer information is false and incomplete. The five year plan changes monthly.
11 - To celebrate the month of July, some of you have been getting the May build notices promised by the plan. This does not however mean that we will build your Bronco. We may build some of it, and put in a parking lot at MAP with chalked numbers on the window signifying your social status. In the coming year, others may or may not get the May build notices, however this will be sent to all citizens by May 2023. No citizens, however are guaranteed an actual Bronco at any time.
12 - We are sorry for the inconvenience, however your patience is important as we battle the bourgeois forces of Capitalist greed and the saboteurs at Webasto and in our chip factories in Taiwan. To mitigate these issues, we are offering rides in Bronco Sports and used used Ford Flexes. The latter are really the same as four door Outer Banks models anyway. A Ford Pass credit for a large bag of potatoes is also yours.
13 - You may have seen Politburo members driving Broncos in Texas at the Rodeo. We are confident that you will support their passion for the state while you wait.....and wait...and wait. Would you like some vodka?
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