Which Portals Are Right For You? (Satire)

[telenerd]

What about Jesse Haines Fab Portals? What’s the vibe for those.

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[SierraBronco]

What about Jesse Haines Fab Portals? What’s the vibe for those.

Those would be harder to do. With everything in the list I was trying to make it based on how each company markets their stuff while also using examples from what we’ve seen in real life, while not repeating the same thing twice. Turn gets the Chinese treatment and “you don’t need to change anything because the OEM already made it perfectly” because their portals are made in China and they say you don’t need to change the suspension because it’s already perfect, ignoring the fact that the weight and additional leverage very much changes your IFS suspension. Their portals are made in China and they literally said the latter. Tibus was tougher as they don’t have a lot of marketing but they were very loud about how quiet the helical gears are, despite noise being a non-issue from the straight cut portals. 74w was easy having owned a set. They have also had more failures than the rest of the manufacturers combined. They searched Amazon for the cheapest ancillary parts possible to support their setup. So big bling but disappointment when you look at the details. The credentialism is important to them throwing around “aerospace engineering” at every opportunity (but they can’t keep the brake calipers from falling off), or buying Temu loctite in bulk but then later saying “our partners at Henkel” trying to make it sound like some longstanding relationship when just a week prior they were blaming their issues on thread locker. Didn’t even go in to the fact that if you aren’t an influencer, you could be waiting months on parts that you can only get from them, and their warranty is “maybe we honor it, maybe go fuck yourself.” Like Turn they rely heavily on influencers, but that was already covered. I actually cut a lot of theirs down so it didn’t look like I was going too hard on them. Portal pros was another tougher one with the lack of information that exists, but they made the scrub radius comments so that made things easier. And werewolf was easy seems how I am currently running them.

As far as the JHF portals are concerned, they aren’t simply bolting the portals on to the housing and hoping it lasts. So that’s good. They moved the suspension mounting points, another good thing. The axles are high pinion and stronger than stock…can’t make fun of that. I believe they’re two gear instead of three or four, so that’s better for simplicity. Pretty sure they’re heavy as shit but that was done. I guess since it’s thirty grand for a set maybe that’s a thing but then it just sounds like trivial “eat the rich” bullshit. Like “my portals are the right kind of expensive. JHF are too much and that’s silly” type of thing.

Or maybe I’m just being lazy…

 

[userdude]

Those would be harder to do. With everything in the list I was trying to make it based on how each company markets their stuff while also using reality from what we’ve seen in real life, while not repeating the same thing twice. Turn gets the Chinese treatment and you don’t need to change anything because the OEM already made it perfectly. Their portals are made in China and they literally said the latter. Tibus was tougher as they don’t have a lot of marketing but they were very loud about how quiet the helical gears are, despite noise being a non-issue from the straight cut portals. 74w was easy having owned a set. They have also had more failures than the rest of the manufacturers combined. They searched Amazon for the cheapest ancillary parts possible to support their setup. So big bling but disappointment when you look at the details. The credentialism is important to them throwing around “aerospace engineering” at every opportunity (but they can’t keep the brake calipers from falling off), or buying Temu loctite in bulk but then later saying “our partners at Henkel.” Trying to make it sound like some longstanding relationship when just a week prior they were blaming their issues on thread locker. Like Turn they rely heavily on influencers, but that was already covered. I actually cut a lot of theirs down so it didn’t look like I was going too hard on them. Portal pros was another tougher one with the lack of information that exists, but they made the scrub radius comments so that made things easier. And werewolf was easy seems how I am currently running them.

As far as the JHF portals are concerned, they aren’t simply bolting the portals on to the housing and hoping it lasts. So that’s good. They moved the suspension mounting points, another good thing. The axles are high pinion and stronger than stock…can’t make fun of that. I believe they’re two gear instead of three or four, so that’s better for simplicity. Pretty sure they’re heavy as shit but that was done. I guess since it’s thirty grand for a set maybe that’s a thing but then it just sounds like trivial “eat the rich” bullshit. Like “my portals are the right kind of expensive. JHF are too much and that’s silly” type of thing.

Or maybe I’m just being lazy…

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