Tell her you want to tie her up and do whatever you want, if she agrees, tie her up and open B&P. She agreed after allJust look deep into her eyes and tell her how much you love her, just absolutely cherish her, and the support she's given you over the years is without equal. But for today she's less important than an inanimate object you might get in a year.
Then give her a dollar store anniversary card with a gift certificate to Golden Corral as you turn to open your laptop. #protip
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